Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize