I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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