I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
we should paint friendship bongs
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