I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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