Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize