i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
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i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
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I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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