Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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