listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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