I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize