I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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