Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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