She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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