omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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