She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize