No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize