How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize