just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize