Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
this is an emotional support booty call
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize