We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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