she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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