I'd wear matching sweaters with you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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