so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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