every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the day after is always just damage control
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I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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