everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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