My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize