How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize