I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
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we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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