it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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