I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize