if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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