No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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