nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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