don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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