Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

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(228): Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table? http://tfl.nu/oj90

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(702): View more from Nevada

Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.

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(702): Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar? (1-702): You told us you forgot how, and started to cry. http://tfl.nu/t675

Replies (54) Good night (1912) Bad night (7438) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

(1-310): View more from California

damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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(310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley. (1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now. http://tfl.nu/1545

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(970): View more from Colorado

I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"

(763): View more from Minnesota

Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.

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(970): I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?" (763): Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka. http://tfl.nu/xe07

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(678): View more from Georgia

i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.

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(678): i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste. http://tfl.nu/3anp

Replies (21) Good night (4733) Bad night (1660)
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(620): View more from Kansas

He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.

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(620): He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/7tli

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(510): View more from California

Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting

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(510): Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting http://tfl.nu/1alo

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(206): View more from Washington

AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!

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(206): AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN! http://tfl.nu/o93p

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(619): View more from California

I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.

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(619): I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time. http://tfl.nu/u8ll

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(602): View more from Arizona

Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.

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(602): Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library. http://tfl.nu/6qen

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(501): View more from Arkansas

You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.

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(501): You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie. http://tfl.nu/eccp

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame

(774): View more from Massachusetts

I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success

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(413): This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame (774): I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success http://tfl.nu/49mo

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(651): View more from Minnesota

How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?

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(651): How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now? http://tfl.nu/kz7z

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list

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(508): Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list http://tfl.nu/sa1j

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(386): View more from Florida

In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.

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(386): In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/h1dn

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