I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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