Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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