Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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