just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
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I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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