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She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
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