hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize