im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize