All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize