i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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