I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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