you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
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He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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