I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
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I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
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Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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