yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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