The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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