I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
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Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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