i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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